Sam, you've been waiting much too long now
It looks like she's not coming home
Sam, you've been loyal, true and faithful
All this time with being alone

If I could get that same dedication
I'd give you everything in creation
If she doesn't come back (If she doesn't come back)

I'll be your prostitute substitute
Whenever you want me ooh, ooh
Don't you know I'll be your substitute
Whenever you need me ooh, ooh

Sam, everyday you waited for her
I've been waiting here for you
Sam, all this time I've been lonely
I know what you've been going through
I'll wait until my chances occur
'Cause you can't keep relying on her
If she doesn't come back (If she doesn't come back)

I'll be your substitute
Whenever you want me ooh, ooh
Don't you know I'll be your substitute
Whenever you need me ooh, ooh

Each day by your window you sit inside
Hoping to see her face
Oh, you might as well forget about her
And find someone to take her place (If she doesn't come back)

I'll be your substitute
Whenever you want me ooh, ooh
Don't you know I'll be your substitute
Whenever you need me ooh, ooh

Don't you know I'll be your substitute
Whenever you want me ooh, ooh
Don't you know I'll be your substitute
Whenever you need me ooh, ooh

Don't you know I'll be your substitute
Whenever you want me ooh, ooh